Saturday, April 17, 2010

The Rochester Tranny

There's this weird dichotomy of experience that comes along with working on the auto show circuit, and that is this: you meet the most average of America, and then you meet the extraordinary of America.

I prefer the extraordinary. What passes for average up in here depresses me. (Acid wash denim? Really?)

Rochester, NY has just one of these extraordinary characters.

I am going to preface this description by saying that I love me a good transvestite. A GOOD transvestite. The average self-respecting tranny can give any beauty queen a run for her money. Hair, nails, makeup always perfect. Long thin legs perfectly waxed, thin hips squeezed into a sassy dress, killer heels. A good tranny never leaves the house without being fully done.

The Rochester Tranny is not one of these.

Okay, so you know the serial killer in The Silence of the Lambs? Not Hannibal Lecter. The "It puts the lotion in the basket" guy. That might be a somewhat apt description of what one first conjures when one is presented with The Rochester Tranny.

Picture this:
A middle aged balding man. Long hair - real, not a wig, and since he is balding it is very sparse in the front (but maybe like Brett Michaels he figures if it's long no one will notice). This thin, dry, balding head of hair is dyed orange. No makeup except bright red lipstick. Acid wash (there it is again) skin tight capri pants. A pink half shirt out of which pours a hairy beer belly. Shiny white ladies Keds sneakers with pink bobby socks.

Did I mention the hairy beer belly oozing over the waist of the skin tight acid wash denim capri pants? Please let that sink in for a moment.

So I see this guy (normally I call trannies "girls" since that's what they prefer, but if he's not going to put in the effort neither am I) and I can't believe he is serious. It must be a joke. Maybe a dare? Maybe a bunch of guys goofing off and more will come through my display in a minute? I grabbed a local salesperson and asked what the deal was.

"Oh no," said the salesperson. "That's what we call our 'local flavor.' He's been doing this for years."

Oh, dear.

I cannot believe the transsexual/transgender community of western New York is allowing this. Really, girls, help a fella out here. At least get him a wig and a whole shirt.

But this is truly one of the things I love most about the USA. Let your freak flag fly, Rochester Tranny.

PS - Bet you thought this post was about transmissions. Fooled ya.

10 comments:

  1. Naw. You tell me Rochester, I think carburetors.

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  2. I REMEMBER HIM! I haven't done shows for awhile, but THAT GUY was totally there! *thud*

    I swear to Jesus, I have no words right now. And you know how hard it is to render a (former) Auto Show Babe speechless.

    I love your blog. Finally it's "As The Car Turns" put to pen...errr, Arial 12 pt. For all the peeps who think it's glamourous, the true colors show through in your blog. Being a well dressed gypsy was superfun, but no one could ever imagine the freakiness that happened unless you lived it.

    Love it! Love you! Don't care about your identity, keep it coming sistah! :)

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  3. Pictures or it didn't happen.

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  4. Stephanie, thank you so much for your lovely compliments!

    Mr.EMan, I wish I could say I didn't take photos because I had too much respect for his dignity, but the reality is that I couldn't get close enough with my camera phone without being totally obvious. :-0

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  5. Yeah, the first thing I murmured: "Rochester made transmissions...?" :)

    I have to admit that I also admire a tranny who puts forth the effort--I figure, as in most things, if you're gonna do something, best do it with gusto-- but I should also fess up, not being an expert on such things, to being fuzzy on the exact difference between a tranny and a drag queen. I suppose for a tranny it's a lifestyle and for a DQ it's entertainment... or something. Anyway, best place to hang with praise-worthy trannies is just about anywhere east of St. Ann's in The French Quarter. Those dudes look like ladies! Well, mostly.

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  6. Oddly enough, since I live in New York and am part of a local group trying to get New York's GENDA law passed, the first thing I thought was what you described.

    While I don't live in Rochester, we have some of that "local flavor" here in mt town as well.

    The biggest surprise regarding your post was that Rochester even had a car show! I figured Buffalo would have been a better choice! LOL!

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  7. There's a good Cinncinatti tranny that runs the autoshow down there. And she likes the ladies. Go figure.

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  8. The previous comment confuses me! A lesbian tranny? Seems like one ought to cancel the other out...

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  9. I was getting of the train last week when I saw a dude with the whole long/balding grey hair thing going, who was wearing the tightest, shortest mini I've ever had the displeasure of seeing in my life. He had these scrawny arse chicken-legs that would have been the most ridiculous part of the whole look, were it not for the hot pink mini t-shirt he had on, which just showed the world that he was not a fan of either body waxing or gym workouts.

    I guess the effort to make the whole tranny thing work on a day-to-day basis just isn't in most guys;

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  10. That visual made me die a little on the inside.

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