Monday, August 1, 2011

Snakes on a car

I have had it with these motherf-ing snakes on my motherf-ing car!

OMG I can't even watch this video without squealing in horror. Jesus. I would do the exact same thing and not pull over. What, were they supposed to give that snake the chance to climb in the car and eat their babies? It must have been in the engine block before they took off. OMG I am freaking out over this.

True story: One day my cousin was driving down the highway when a motherf-ing snake dropped into his lap. It was just a garter snake but Christ that would have been my death right there. I usually excel at accident avoidance but at that moment I would have been freaking out so hard I'd drive into a tree or off a cliff and the snake would slither away and no one would ever know what caused such a horrible accident. "There aren't even any skidmarks," the perplexed police would say.

Did I mention that the snake in this video is a water moccasin? The deadliest snake in North America??? No?

I am a huge animal lover but don't feel the least bit badly that they let the snake fall off the car into oncoming traffic. While I appreciate the fact that we all have a part in the great circle of life and the food chain, they can be part of the food chain in some God forsaken swamp where I will never go. Snakes don't have souls. I decided.