Everyone with a halfway decent camera at the auto show fancies themselves the next Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue photographer. I assure you, you are not. We are not celebrities, you are not the paparazzi, and for most of us the nature of our jobs does not dictate we must agree to have our photos taken. If I'm not standing on a platform and my coworkers and I see you aim a camera in our direction, you will often quickly see our backs.
There is a very simple way to figure out if it's okay to take my picture.
- If I am standing on a platform next to a car, it's fair game.
- If I am not standing on a platform, ask for permission.
Lots of people do ask and that is awesome! Some of us will say yes, some of us will say no. When we say no we have very good reasons.
Here are some reasons why we say no when you ask to take our picture at the auto show:
You're super creepy
We don't want to be part of your spank book
We're afraid you're going to Photoshop our head onto the body of some naked chick with an ugly face and add it to a porn site
We're pretty sure it's going to wind up in a "Girls of the Auto Show" blog post where men who haven't gotten laid since the recession started will have the audacity to pick apart our appearance
We're not wearing something we're supposed to be wearing and don't want to get busted if someone important happens to see it on the interweb
We wish to retain as much control of our image and how it is used as possible
You're super creepy
All of us ladies at the auto show have developed Spidey-sense and can tell from a pretty fair distance when someone is trying to sneak a photo of us. We will then send a signal to the other girls in the area and strangely all of a sudden you will notice all of our backs are facing you. I've spotted cameras with telephoto lenses on balconies trained on our information desk. I've nabbed guys trying to set us up like a bad pickpocket job, one distracting us with conversation while the other tries to snap photos of my a$$ (that's handled by clasping my fingers behind my back, covering my cheeks while flipping the photog off - I can't be identified anyway because he's only focused on my butt).
One booth babe told me she was asked by a group of teenaged boys to pose by a car of a different manufacturer than the one she repped. She told them she couldn't do that, then inquired why they didn't ask the ladies in that particular booth to do it. "We did," they said. "They told us they weren't allowed to leave the desk."
That booth babe had to break their hearts. "Boys, they just didn't want to take a picture. Sorry." To make them feel better she offered to snap one in front of one of her vehicles, but they were too dejected to even consider it.
But they asked. So if a group of horny teenaged boys can manage that level of civility, why can't you? Ah yes, because you're super creepy.
Good guidelines for those who don't know. What show are you heading to next?
ReplyDeleteHi Kristian, the next major show I'll be at is New York. I'm only disclosing my major shows; if I tell the smaller regional ones it would be far easier for people in-the-know to figure out who I am ; )
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure the recession didn't affect their sex-lives at all.
ReplyDeleteAh, New York. A post-recession show there should be good hopefully. Have a good one.
ReplyDeleteWe call them the PERV-ARRAZZI for a reason. When asked, I always pose for a photo, but hide behind a pole with a telephoto lens? Forget it. I am giving you a turned head and the ugliest angle. I am trained to find your lens, you guys can be creepy and gross.
ReplyDeleteGood post, I was genuinely curious about this. Love your patented "posterior defense."
ReplyDeleteGood post, I was genuinely curious about this. Love your patented "posterior defense."
ReplyDeleteSome people know manners, others must be instructed, apparently.
ReplyDeleteThe comment about creepy commenters on car blogs is of course spot-on:
http://jalopnik.com/5485067/booth-professionals-of-the-2010-geneva-motor-show
This is pretty funny stuff - I like your writing style. Hope the compliment did not come across as creepy or gross :)
ReplyDeleteI've found your blog very interesting, but the longer I read it the more depressed I get about being a heterosexual male (married 30 years). "Spank book"? Oy.
ReplyDeleteCrazy! I've honestly never even thought of just going around snapping pics of strangers. Seriously, what does one do with a collection of such pics? I have to acknowledge that the "spank-book" thing is probably right on. And that's pretty sad when you stop to think about it.
ReplyDeleteI would never want to just take a picture of a model without her standing next to a car, that would be kind of weird. Good to know the platform is fair game, though.
ReplyDeleteWhy are models and product specialists the only folks that you need permission from to take their picture?
ReplyDeleteIt's a public event. Nothing creepy at all about trying to get some candid, unposed shots of the various people at a show. Actually, it's almost impossible not to have models in the background of any shot you take at the press previews.
American Chopper sure as hell didn't give me a release to sign when they were shooting at the NAIAS a few years back, but I'm in the episode.
That girl - wow. Well, I'm not automatically bowled over by blondes, but like I always say, if you're going to be a blonde, be an exquisite blonde.
ReplyDeleteApparently there is a whole sub-culture of guys out there who like to take pics of pretty girls with their cell phones. It's pretty sad. On the other hand, I was in an hotel elevator a couple of months ago with a woman executive when I young twenty something guy got on with his swim suit and nothing else. She stripped him with her eyes until he got off. Nice to know equality is making progress.
ReplyDeleteI am going to be honest with you. You strike me as being painfully narcissistic. I am glad that I am old enough to see past a pretty face or curvy figure at the character (or lack thereof) inside. You make a living looking pretty, if someone who doesn't measure up to your lofty standards wants to take your picture...TOUGH! If it's such a burden for you, find another job.
ReplyDeleteAnd you strike me as being painfully judgmental. It's a blog. Get over it.
ReplyDeleteI make a living educating consumers about vehicles. I'm not there for a photo shoot, and that is nowhere in my job description.
Here's another tip to those that like to take creepy photos. Show security will follow you around, make you erase your photos/videos, and kick you out if we report you. I know it's not a huge punishment, but it's a huge embarrassment in public. We rather enjoy watching you get in trouble after snapping unsolicited pics of our butts, boots, and boobs.
ReplyDeleteI can only repeat what I've written before - great stuff! Wonderful writing style, honest, dead on impressions and opinions! It's been 12 years since I last worked an Auto Show, but you bring it all back! Of course, being a guy, I never had to deal with any of what you have to - but as a 'Team Captain', and older (in my 40's at the time) I felt a paternalistic interest in making sure the women at our display (Honda)weren't harrassaed. (The kind of father who sits on the front porch with a shotgun!) Keep writing - I'm recommending this to all my FB friends, whether they've orked Auto Show or not! (Personally, I think you've got the basis for a hell of a movie!)
ReplyDeleteAs a college student, I'm always shocked to hear the back and forth between the booth babes, creepers, and 'protective older males'. It really doesn't seem like a big deal until I hear something on the internet about it.
ReplyDeleteThe girls I've seen at shows rate nowhere near the girls at my university. I would say 6/10 on average and 15 years older than they should be. I guess a girl that is a 6/10 for a 20 year old guy is a 9/10 for a 40 year old guy, though.
The whole thing just seems desperate - creepy guys hitting on aging chicks who picked up an embarrassing PR gig.
My "embarrassing PR gig" pays a hell of a lot more than any job you're going to get out of college, my friend - especially in the current economic climate.
ReplyDelete