Friday, April 2, 2010

Too much junk in your trunk

Sometimes I can predict a conversation at the auto show from 20 feet away, long before I ever approach the person. While I learned long ago never to judge a person's station in life by appearance alone (that guy in the dirty work clothes may well drive a Lambo), you can certainly tell a lot about a person by the way they carry themselves and observed behavior.

When I see a large person make a face while climbing in and out of a car, I know this is the first thing they will say to me:

"The seat is too small. You make them smaller every year."

The seat is not too small. The seat is not any smaller than it was last year or five years ago.

The seat is not too small. Your a$$ is too big.

I understand that there are some cars that are, in fact, very small, and have smaller seats, and that sports seating can make a difference. I am not talking about these cars. I am talking about large sedans with some of the biggest, cushiest seats in their class. They are not too small. You are too big. And you keep getting bigger.

If you want to be big, that's your business. I am not here to comment on your struggle with weight loss or why you turn to food to comfort yourself after yet another booth babe shoots down your gross pick up attempt. (Large women rarely make this claim, interestingly. It is always the men.)

But it's time to get honest here. Do not blame my manufacturer for making seats smaller. That is patently ridiculous, and I have the measurements from the past ten years at my fingertips to prove that very point. The seats are not smaller, the dry cleaner did not shrink your pants, you are not "fluffy" or "big boned" and you're not Octomom eating for eight. If the seats in a full sized sedan are too small for you, then A) Please don't sit next to me on a plane and B) You need to stop lying to yourself and placing the blame for your discomfort on everything but the real issue.

Like I said, if you want to be big, go for it. It's your business (until my health insurance premiums go up to compensate for your weight-related illness costs). Don't blame your difficulties functioning in the world on external issues when it is your own body that is holding you back. If you're going to live it, own it.

It's not the seats. It's you.


  1. Just another example of the lack of personal accountability in this country. No one is ever responsible, it's always someone else's fault.

    Kid not getting good grades? It's not because the parent(s) don't spend enough time helping him/her learn or take an active interest in their scholarship/life-in-general or even that, heaven forbid, Junior just ain't that bright. Nope, it must be "the teacher's" fault or "the system's". Yet every time the municipalities try to raise taxes to better fund these "systems" and hire more teachers these parents are among the first to piss and moan and write congressmen.

    It's all a part of this entitlement mentality where we somehow seem to believe that the relatively low taxes we pay, and our very status as "Americans", entitles us to the best of everything at low cost, the right to unfettered conspicuous consumption (again, at low cost) and the further belief that we can do no wrong.

    I also love how self-righteous obese folks are the first to bash smokers and rail against how much they're stressing the healthcare system, when the facts plainly bear out that heart disease is still the leading killer--and drain on the healthcare system--in this country. And that's not even mentioning all the other costly ailments related to obesity, like diabetes and hypertension. They're all for raising taxes on cigarettes as a "deterrent", but don't you dare threaten them with a junk food tax! That would be a violation of their rights!

    We're such a silly nation!

  2. I agree. People who are overweight need a paradigm shift to realize that they need to own up to that problem... Cheers.

  3. You hit it on the spot Charles. No one takes responsibility. We always blame the "other guy". It's never us, it's the "disease I was born with". I wonder what things would be like if people actually "manned up" (no offense to the women out there), and took responsibility for their actions.

    As always, thank you for a great post DYCWTC

  4. Thanks for a good laugh! Hope NYC's treating you well.
    Give our regards to Lauren (Chrysler\Lancia gal), say it's from her loyal fanbase at Autoblog :D

  5. Funny, the seat in my own car keeps getting smaller every year. Clearly VW's choice of materials was faulty.

    Any chance the guy you were thinking of was called Kevin Smith?

  6. This reminds me of a member in a local sports car club talking about buying a titanium muffler so he could shave 10-15 lb off his car's weight, and I just kept thinking to myself, dude, have you looked in the mirror? I few minutes on a treadmill and you could save yourself a lot of money.

    I know losing weight isn't easy (I hold diet contests at work), but that's life.

    Love the blog, just started reading it. I hope you keep posting beyond the auto show season.

  7. In my case, I found that as I got older, the car roofs kept getting lower.

  8. Back in the 1980s Mercedes-Benz used to have optional extra wide front seats and reinforced front seat springs for the larger customer, I guess those are standard equipment today. Personally I have problems with seats that are too narrow at the shoulders, but never the cushion width.
    I can also identify with Mr.EMan's post about weight, I ride bikes seriously and laugh at the weight weenies, of course I ride in the Clydesdale class (riders over 200lbs.) so I'm one to talk.
    Thanks for sharing your view of auto shows, my city is too small to rate a show with a lot of models so I usually end up talking to dealer employees instead.

  9. I love your witty writing, its great! I ve read the last 3 posts and youre right on! Im recently a former coworker [although Im not sure who you are :) but maybe we've met!] but this is a very funny page/ blog, I love it! <3 I bumped into you via facebook :)

  10. @Charles, as a former smoker, now turned anti smoker, obese people should get inspired by them and turn from food to cigarettes. That would guarantee that the seats start getting larger again...

  11. Brilliant...brilliant! You've got a great sense of humor, keep it up, and keep blogging. This post made me crack up. Some people will always find something else to blame for their own issues .... sigh

  12. would be better if you sort things out


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